A while ago I witnessed two people who were arguing about a certain aspect of a software system. They were arguing about whether the requirement should be implemented in the way that person A was explaining it, or in the way that person B was explaining it. Continually, person A tried to convince person B that his idea was wrong, while person B tried to do the same thing.
I was watching this situation unfold and as they gave me more and more insight into the problem by arguing back and forth, it became clear to me that they were actually both right. They were just discussing the matter with different naming applied to the problem. Once I had explained person A that person B was talking about the same thing and vice versa, it took them less than 5 minutes to come to an agreement regarding the matter.
What happened was that they both were only addressing the problem from their own perspective. They were both looking at the problem through their own set of glasses. Being impervious to the glasses the other person was wearing. While they were looking at the same thing through those glasses!
Solving problems effectively
In order to solve these problems without someone else explaining it to both parties, one of the people involved must act in a proactive manner. Meaning he or she takes action to solve the problem, rather than continue the argument. There is a very effective way of doing this, which only takes 3 simple steps.
1 Understanding the other person
The first step in the process is to understand the other person’s point of view. Instead of arguing, say “can you explain me how you see this?” instead. Have the other person explain his point of view without interrupting them. When you think you have a good idea of their point of view, explain their point of view to them in your own words. This makes sure that you both know exactly what the person’s point of view is.
2 Have the other person understand you
Once you have an understanding of the other person’s point of view and they know that you do, suggest to them that it would be good for them to understand your point of view on the matter in the same way. So now you explain to them what your point of view is, and then when it is clear, have them explain it in their own words.
You cannot do step 1 before step 2, because step 1 makes it obvious to the other person that it is possible to understand each other’s point of view. So always take step 1 first.
3 Find a win/win solution
The final step to solving the problem is to find a true win/win solution. This means that both parties are happy about the solution. This is distinctly different than a compromise, which should always be your last alternative. In creating a win/win solution, steps 1 and 2 are key. They allow both parties to assess the situation from both sides, thus effectively doubling your power in finding a good solution!
Sun, Jul 19, 2009
Entrepreneurship, Self Improvement