I was talking to a business partner of mine recently who is setting up a very innovative Internet concept. In a matter of minutes the main topic of our discussion had been discussed and we started talking about the future. What our dreams are and how we envision the future. It was a very interesting talk, even though it only lasted for a couple of minutes.
After those couple of minutes we both went back to the usual business. He back to working his job so he can soon roll out his concept and I got back to working on my current project. This is key to achieving our goals, we have to be first, do second and have third. Both of us are, so right now we need to do. Which meant getting back to our day-to-day activities for now.
The biggest misconception in the world
Most people do not use the paradigm ‘be-do-have’. They rather use ‘have-do-be’. For example, people think they need to ‘have’ money, in order to ‘do’ the things they want, which means they’ll ‘be’ happy. The problem is that this is the biggest misconception in the world!
How can you ‘have’ without doing? How can you ‘do’ without being? I have never met someone who is stuck in the ‘have-do-be’ paradigm who actually got what they wanted. I know many of them, they are everywhere! For example I know someone who graduated from college and has been working a well-paid job for a couple of years now. But he still lives in a 3 by 4 room in the house of his landlord.
This person thinks that a great place to live will be thrown into his lap as if by magic. Well, sorry, but that ain’t the way to live a fairytale life. If you want the perfect place to live, you will have to adopt the ‘be-do-have’ principle instead. It is nice to dream. But it is better to act. And it is best to be.
Be
The ‘be’ part of it all is what most people get wrong. It is what separates the dreamers from the rest. There is nothing wrong with dreaming, I mean, you have to have dreams. They are your goals in life. But there are too many people who only dream. They focus on the ‘have’ and as a result, will never have. Just like the person I told you about.
This all sounds very spiritual, so let’s look at a simple example of turning this paradigm around. One of my dreams is to have a successful software business. But to achieve this (to ‘have’), I have to ‘do’ first. I have to do the work that leads to having a great business. And in order to be able to ‘do’ what I need to do, I need to ‘be’ the right person to do it.
Being or becoming the right person for something means you have the right mindset. Having the right mindset is to ‘be’. For an aspiring business owner, one of the biggest things is focus. Focus on your business; don’t jump around changing dreams an aspiring different things. Focus. Be.
Do
When you are the right person, it doesn’t mean that the business is there. Not by a long shot. It just means that you have envisioned the goal. But now you have to ‘do’.
A simple example is traveling to Rome. I live in Amsterdam but I can dream about being in Rome. When I translate this dream to something more concrete, I can get into the mindset of taking a vacation to Rome. I can even envisage myself taking a photo of the David of Michelangelo. But that doesn’t put me there yet.
I have to do the work to arrange the trip, then take the trip. This is work, this is doing. You have to put in effort to get from A to B, or in my case, from Amsterdam to Rome.
Have
After you have attained the mindset and done the work, you can truly have. The example of a vacation to Rome is a simple one, but it extrapolates well to big goals. Always first determine whether you can ‘be’. Then determine what you need to ‘do’ and go do it. Then reap the rewards. Have.
Recommended books
If you are interested in changing your ‘have-do-be’ paradigm into a ‘be-do-have’ paradigm, I highly recommend these books. They are about getting rich on first glance, but in fact, go much deeper than that. The Science of Getting Rich is a little spiritual, but if you see through that it is actually a really good piece of work.
The Richest Man in Babylon is a great book about how to achieve financial independence. But it is written in such a way that it actually offers much more value. It helps you understand how in even the worst of circumstances you can still achieve your goals. By applying the ‘be-do-have’ paradigm, instead of the ‘have-do-be’ paradigm.
November 21st, 2009 at 12:16 am
Very nice Jesse.
I know who you’re talking about in that first paragraph
.
Most people who dream want to hit the ground running, but it doesn’t work like that. You have to crawl, then you have to walk, then you learn to run.
No one is born in this life as a runner, we are all crawlers at first. Although some of us get it faster then others that doesn’t mean we can’t do it. Business, and real accomplishments work the same way!
Don’t dream it and wait for it to happen, dream it, and do it. All of the successful people who you often here referenced, that didn’t receive money from some fortune 500 family had to work for it.
In life you radiate what you do, and are. If I’m a hard worker, then I will be surrounded by the result. If I am a happy person, most the time I will be surrounded by happy people.
- Andrew